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I Wanna Nerd You Up: Going against the nerd grain

Hello to all of my fellow nerds. Lately I’ve been thinking about how nothing riles nerds up more than having a sacrilegious opinion about something that is considered to be “Nerd Holy.”

Case in point: I think “Firefly” is awful. I think the story lines were horribly written, the CGI was garbage (even by TV standards), the characters were obnoxious – especially Washburn (played by Alan Tudyk of Steve the Pirate fame) and the insufferable River Tam (played by Summer Glau) – and the sets looked like crap.

Serenity, a “Firefly-class” spaceship, is probably the ugliest vehicle in all of science fiction. It looks like a clunky, uncomfortable and archaic sex toy, if that helps paint a picture in your head.

Here is another example: enjoying the Prequels. I have yet to meet a nerd who likes “Star Wars” episodes I through III. Even if you did, it would be nerd suicide to say that you really like Hayden Christensen’s acting or that George Lucas made some excellent choices in character development and storytelling.

I dare you, Nerd, to go into the upcoming Sac-Con (Dec. 9) and yell at the top of your lungs that you love “Attack of the Clones” and wish Jar Jar Binks had a prominent role in “Revenge of the Sith.” It would be like that scene in “Die Hard: With a Vengeance” when John McClane was forced to wear the racist billboard in Harlem. You’d be lucky to escape with your life, let alone your James O’Barr- (creator of “The Crow,” for you non-nerds) commissioned pieces of art.

Oh, you heard me correctly; O’Barr is taking commissions for custom pieces of art! And he isn’t charging an arm and a leg for them either.

Just for the record, I don’t like any of the Prequels, but I have met several non-nerds (or "functioning adults", as they are commonly called) who actually like the Prequels. They find them to be entertaining and fun movies.

So why do we get so upset when someone goes against the grain?

Why do we take it so personally when someone likes something that we like to crap on, like “The Dark Knight Rises”? Is it because we’re so familiar with the source material that we think we are better judges of how a story should be told? Or is it because we may have grown up with something, like “Star Wars,” and we have some emotional bond that connects us to a story that other people (the functioning adults mentioned above) don’t have, which allows them to not get so worked up about something so trivial?

My theory is this: maybe we just like to have something to complain about. Griping and nerdiness go hand in hand.

I guess, in closing, I hope the point I’m making is clear and simple.

Please don’t get me “Firefly” on Blu-ray for Christmas.






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