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I Wanna Nerd You Up: Fourth-quarter games

I do not believe myself to be the King of Nerds in Sacramento. I’m more like the Jack of Nerds (I’ve had girlfriends that were real, but I have drawn an evolutionary chart of Lightsabers). I nerd out on some things and you probably do, too.

Ah, it’s that sweet time of the year when gaming companies release their big hits and we nerds start calling in sick to work, neglecting our loved ones and beginning to lose what little muscle we have. In the span of two weeks we will bear witness to the release of Assassin’s Creed III, Halo 4, and Call of Duty: Black Ops 2.

I should probably invest in a pair of those self-inflating pants that medical staff put on bedridden patients so they don’t develop blood clots in their legs, because I won’t be leaving my gaming chair for at least a month.

Call of Duty, arguably one of the biggest game franchises of all time, is back in Black Ops 2. This time out the game takes place in the future instead of the Cold War era, and will see the return of certain characters from … You know what? Who cares? We really just want to get to the online fighting and see what tweaks and improvements have been made. Supposedly there have been some major revisions to the online playing and in-game reward systems. Oh! And the always-welcomed zombie campaign!

Assassin’s Creed III (which actually had a few titles in between II and III) takes place during the Revolutionary War. It introduces a new protagonist along with Desmond Miles’s modern-day adventures.

Assassin’s Creed III was built on a brand-new game engine, and features new game elements like weather affecting your character’s movement, recruiting artificial intelligence characters to live in a settlement, hunting (and being hunted), fetching beer for Ben Franklin and covering for Jefferson when his wife asks why he’s been out in the slave’s quarters for the past hour (I may have made up those last two).

And then there is the return of Master Chief! A new studio, 343 Industries, instead of Bungie, developed Halo 4, which will be the first game in a new Halo trilogy. Halo 4 will break from its traditional design of a straight-up first-person shooter. This newest release will require more exploration and discovery from players. The multiplayer for Halo 4 will feature new weapons and vehicles, too (as long as the needle gun remains and you still get to tea bag your opponents, I’m happy).

Supposedly Conan O’Brien and Andy Richter are lending their voices to some characters. Maybe they play a late-night show host and sidekick that interview Master Chief after the discovery that he is actually not dead? I wonder if Triumph makes an appearance, too?

That’s it, nerds. I’ve got to stock up on my Slim Jims, Cheetos and Pepsi before I go into solitude until next year. Be sure to go pick up your favorite titles at one of Sacramento’s own Dimple stores (or, if you must, GameStop or Best Buy).

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