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MidLife GridLife – The Road To Mr. Right Is Paved With Many Questions

Recently, I tuned in to the Millionaire Matchmaker Valentine special. I can’t say I heard anything revelatory, but one thing surprised me: Patti Stanger thinks online dating sites are the best place to meet your match.

Surprising, coming from a matchmaker.

And yet, not.

I’ve been to a few bars lately, and all I see are couples–and not a lot of those—giggling girls, and men swigging solo who look as though they could tell you more about the bartender than themselves—and would!

Not promising.

Last time I was actively engaged in barhopping for Mr. Right, the bars were, in fact, hopping.

It was the 80s, and you could sign a deal, score a gram, or scribble your number on a napkin—and then start over again two doors down.

American Psycho wasn’t a twisted fantasy, it was a bloody parody!

Lest you think I’m advocating a resurgence of drug abuse and drunken debauchery, let me make clear: it is only the camaraderie I miss, the flirtatious jostling and jockeying for position, both social and service—and occasionally Long Island Iced Tea.

As of late, I have spent time at Sweetwater, R15, Lucca, Zoccalo, Centro and Roxy. "A" for ambience, delicious drink, and charming bartenders, but…

The bars have become barren and boring.

Patti may have a point.

Despite my foray into Sacramento nightlife, I am still fully invested in my agreement with Amar and MetroSpark. If anything, more than ever.

Not much progress has been made, but it’s a process.

Two changes stand out: I have deleted someone I love from my cell phone, and I have colored (some of)my hair for the first time in many years. The first came at Amar’s strong suggestion; the second decision was all mine.

I continue to have mixed feelings about both choices.

At our second meeting, I answered a lot of questions about myself and my past relationships.

That was a lot of fun.

Then I was given homework. I was asked to make a list of everything I want in a man, and a list of everything I don’t want in a man.

This is more difficult than it sounds.

Try it yourself.

At first, I was jammin’ on the ‘wants’ list, but then my brain got involved.

Was this a ‘Law of Attraction’ kind of thing—put it out in the universe and it will come—or was this a grocery list of expectations? Or was I just giving Amar a checklist of items to work with?

And the list of things I don’t want? Four.

There were four.

I texted Amar: Is that normal?

“No,” she responded, cryptically, “That’s why you do the exercise.”

So I persevered.

The things I don’t want actually turn out to be a lot like things I do want, if I reword them–ha!

This is probably cheating, but all’s fair in love and middle-aged dating.

Next, profile pictures and video–if only I could stop fixating on the little blonde streaks in my hair…

You can create your own profile or get matchmaking services via www.metrospark.com

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