She waits for the one who will add to her life, all these years she’s been blinded by what she never had, see no one has ever taught her how to identify a good man. As far as she knows she’s only seen one, but he didn’t reside in her home. She couldn’t identify what a good man was suppose to do, how he dressed, how he should look at her, how he was suppose to love her. One day a man; let’s call him a “Good Man”, walked her way he said” hello” and she said “hi”, but she didn’t take a moment to engage in conversation or attempt interact, as he was trying to do. She thought that in order for a man to be interested he had to eye f**k her, so she had no idea of how she should respond or what to do. At a very young age
men were touching her sexually she thought that meant they cared-fully. She didn’t know that there was any other way that she could believe, except that maybe this is the only thing that meant love for her. Her mother was beaten because her stepfather was cheating, mom was bleeding from the bruises and the internal pain, WHO IS SHE SUSPOSE TO BLAME, and God wouldn’t approve of this, step dad using moms face to pound his fist and they fought.
Should she blame the men she trusted, she was only three when he first touched her…butt and if he could have he would have f**ked, but her little vagina was too small and this man stood about ten feet tall, so he did what he did and she cried thought this was the end of her life and she screamed, but he lied told her mother that she fell took her to the bathroom and washed her well try to dry her eyes
…and she cried. As she got older she thought it was over because that man is dead he got shot R.I.P, but the touching didn’t stop along came uncle to hop on top, he lived in her home, he baby-sat when her mom was gone, he was family so what should she do. She knew it wasn’t right him touching trying to screw. Who was she to tell, age twelve was the first time she yelled told him to stop he got scared apologized, him hoping she wouldn’t say a word. She told her mother the very next day believe it or not her mom had nothing to say, she had no voice, but her mom had a choice and mom chose to ignore what was said so every night she worried that he would come back to her bed, he never did and she thanks God.
These are the kind of men she had to look up to, molesters and abusers so whose fault is it if she has no clue. She had no idea that a real man should look at her beauty not just her booty, if she had been taught to recognize a real man, she would have taken a
stand taken sometime to recognize what was a part of Gods plan, she would have really taken a look at the man God sent her direction she would have known he was the one, he was the blessing. If she had been taught to wait on God and establish a relationship with him first she wouldn’t have had to go through so much of the hurt, the heartache and pain, he died for her sins and Jesus was his name. She’s been the woman that men only use for sexual reasons, not the woman for every season, she’s not a call girl or woman of the street, she’s polite, intelligent, and sweet, they like the teasing and pleasing that she provides they like how she feeds their ego and their pride. It’s not because of the way she dresses, or the way she carry’s her-self, but it’s in her smiles when she looks in his direction without motive she seldom asks for his help, she has Jesus for that. She’s a strong woman and she doesn’t mind building him up, standing by him when she can, but all along he had another
plan and it wasn’t to be her man. She had no clue of what a good man looked like this was giving her the blues.
A good man sends her flowers, tells her she’s beautiful, rub’s her feet when she needs, listens to her as well as he communicates his thoughts, he knows she can’t be bought, he can make her laugh and sometimes sing, a good man doesn’t cost a thing. A good man is compassionate and doesn’t mind catering to your every need. Now she’s older and three children later she’s learned to recognize a Good Man however now she’s alone and wondering if she will ever find what’s been missing in having a relationship with a man she now realizes that she desires one who loves her the way she loves him. It’s taken a long time but she can now recognize what A GOOD MAN IS AND HOW HE FEELS!