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Sacramento New Year Predictions

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* The City of Sacramento will start using “The Claw” to deal with the homeless problem.

* Former Mayoral candidate Murial Strand will grow a handlebar mustache and tour the country with it.

* A shocking new sex tape will surface on the internet involving former Mayor Heather Fargo, Rob Fong, and bounty hunter Leonard Padilla.

* The Pennysaver will overtake the Bee and become Sacramento’s most read publication.

* Zelda’s waitresses will be replaced by Hooters waitresses and vice versa.

* Jack’s Urban Eats will be purchased by a group of Muslim Restauranteurs and be renamed Jack’s Turban Eats.

* The Downtown Ice Arena on K street will begin using frozen bum urine.

* There will be a rash of new "Sushi by the Slice" restaurants in midtown.

* The Sacramento Kings will finally trade one of the Maloof brothers.

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