Wow. Kepi Ghoulie, the Secretions, the Brodys, Mumbo Gumbo... I feel like I've lived this summer before. Or maybe it's just the LSD that I generously apply to my Frosted Flakes each morning.

Subsequently, Jack Young's rectally-lodged ego was valued at USD $450 million by Jack Young.

Kati, you have to understand that there's only one man qualified to appraise the work of Jack Young - Jack Young himself. No one else has the qualifications to tease out the nuance of his exceptional nature.

In these uncertain times, there is a glimmer of hope; a lone, intrepid ship on troubled waters. In a world gone mad, in a time of great moral crisis, one man stands as a beacon of light in the darkness. One man possesses the courage, temerity and ethical fortitude to forge his way through the Valley of the Shadow. One man possesses the reproductive tenacity and sheer force of will necessary to judge the value of objects both great and small - that man is Jack Young.

Another little known fact about Jack Young is that he is one of the most virile men born in the 20th century. Jack Young is known to have sired no fewer than 37 children in the western U.S. alone.

It's not often properly observed how swell a guy Jack Young truly is. I once witnessed him break up a twenty man bar brawl with nothing but the sweet, sweet sound of his voice. True story.