Newest articles on The Sacramento Press written by Angelina Turner

Thoughts of a Divorcee

2009-04-30T06:38:21Z

For the last two weeks, my daughter and I have been helping a long-time family friend whose daughter has been removed from her custody, under a very misguided Parental Alienation claim. I’ve accompanied her to an attorney meeting, my daughter created an email and website on her behalf hoping we could get her story out to the media, all the while trying to be encouraging, but guiding her in various directions to keep her focused isn’t as easy as it sounds. Their entire family is drained; emotionally, mentally and physically wiped out and it’s trickling down to extended family and friends. Those with children are asking if this can happen to them. Their little ones are waking up with nightmares that they’ll be ripped from their mommy or daddy too.

During the 30 plus years of our friendship, I don’t ever recall having to be so unemotional. Logic keeps me grounded—allowing me to maintain some degree of composure, unfortunately that logic also comes with a mild obsessive compulsive control freak that carries another title. I like to-do lists, brainstorming for efficiency, pulling teams together to complete projects and assigning tasks to people with the best skill set to accomplish those tasks.

Logical is difficult when you have exposed raw emotions. I realize my friend’s entire world has been turned upside down and I’m not presumptuous enough to claim to know or understand how she feels. I just wish that I could give her my ability to detach emotionally from stressful situations.

Today I became profoundly aware that my daughter deconstructs issues like me.
Thought-Emotion-Resolution.

After she hung up the phone, she looked at me and said “Ya know you and Ralph are the best divorcees.” Now, let me explain what my 19 year old meant.

My ex-husband and I have a very unique relationship. If people saw us together they would never know we were divorced. We were best friends before the marriage and after many long conversations and many years of healing we can admit that in our hearts we will always love each other. We just can’t live under the same roof.

When our marriage ended, it was an emotional rollercoaster but I was extremely logical about how to separate everything. I took what I brought into the relationship; including our daughter, and left everything else that was his prior to our marriage…he kept his car, the furniture, stereo, TV, tools, Music…well, one CD and a couple articles of clothing, that our daughter has confiscated for her own wardrobe.

I sit here thinking about my friend’s horrific situation. This could have been me. I could have been the one fighting for my daughter, racking up attorney fees—hoping that he would realize that it was best for her to stay with me and all of the extended family, including his parents in the next town. I’m so thankful that never happened, either because we knew what was right or if it was just because we lived in different states.

In actuality, my ex-husband got off easy; he rarely paid the court ordered support and for 16 years he was completely absent from our daughter’s life. She was raised in a large loving family where four generations lived on one city block. Her father’s side of the family was one town over, I am introduced as their daughter, and I spend more time with his family than he does. Which I’m sure drives his current wife crazy. I said we had a unique relationship.

Even as unfair as he treated me and our daughter—last week I actually called him to thank him for being a deadbeat dad. Yes, I would have appreciated the monthly support, but fighting for custody would have been detrimental to her. Yes I would have preferred to see our daughter having a loving respectful relationship with her father, but we don’t get everything we want. She had my parents, me and my grandparents as her primary care givers. She grew up knowing right from wrong. That your word and a handshake are worth more than anything written on paper. Good grades are expected and not rewarded. Life is not fair and everyone must pay their dues.

It hurts me knowing that so many children of broken homes aren’t as mature and clearheaded. They expect gifts for their affection, they don’t know what trust, security or unconditional love looks like.

In an unspoken understanding; I knew that she was hovering between complete rational thought and bewilderment on how other divorced couples can’t just split everything right down the middle and still be able to do what is right for their children. Today she took one more step to being an adult and I felt very proud to have been a part of that. At 19 she is keenly aware that the line between sense and sensibility is very fine, if they have the ability to discern it at all.

Julie Estridge Library Memorial at Roseville High School

2009-04-04T04:45:25Z

--This is a collaboration by Angelina Turner and Becky Morgan.--

Have you ever been driving down the freeway and noticed that a section is named after someone? A portion of Hwy-65 is dedicated to fallen Officer Mark A. White; or historical figures like the Donner Party have Donner Pass? Cities of all sizes have at least one building named after someone that gave a measurable contribution to their community or accomplished something great: the Crocker Art Museum, Sutter’s Fort, or on a grander scale, the J. Edgar Hoover FBI Building or the Washington Monument in Washington, D.C. Colleges name dorms, gymnasiums and lecture halls, to honor a large donation or because of an invaluable impression left on the school--which brings me to the Julie Estridge Library Memorial Dedication.

If you walk through the Roseville High School (RHS) campus, you will notice several structures that follow the tradition of honoring those individuals who have left lasting impressions on the alumni, parents, staff and teachers. There is the Moeller Gymnasium; J.B. Gale Little Theater; Patti Baker Performing Arts Center; and the Sylvia Besana Administration Building; in addition to the Tedy Bruschi Weight Training Facility and Hanson Field (the football field).

Roseville High School alumni and community members have launched a movement to recognize RHS's longest-serving librarian and one of its most beloved teachers, Julie Estridge, by naming the school's library in her memory.

Mrs. Estridge, who passed away last year, served as librarian at Roseville High School for 27 years, from 1979-2006. Considered a transformational figure on the RHS campus, Mrs. Estridge coordinated the re-design and modernization of the library to make it the intellectual and emotional heart of the school.

"Julie was a shining example of the kind of person we would all hope to be. With her welcoming good cheer,
wise humor and compassionate attention, she left a vibrant legacy of courtesy and quiet grace in the hearts of
those who knew her."-Becky Morgan

“It is teachers and administrators such as Julie Estridge that make students fondly remember their experiences
at Roseville High School. It is teachers and administrators such as Julie Estridge that helped me succeed in my
life with a successful career at Microsoft and as an elected official in Milton Township, Michigan. It is teachers and
administrators like Julie Estridge that should be honored and remembered.” -Supervisor Robert Benjamin

“I have very fond memories of Mrs. Estridge. She was someone that cared deeply for the students, not because we
were students but because she always saw the best in people and believed they could do anything if they had the
tools within their reach. She encouraged us to always set goals that might be just out of reach so that we didn’t sell
ourselves short.”-Angelina Turner

The supporters of naming the library in Julie’s honor feel that this is a normal sequence, since the library is one of the few widely used buildings not named after someone. But like all things in life, nothing is that simple.

Our goal is to find as many alumni who attended RHS between 1979 and the present day and to urge them to write letters to the Roseville Joint Union High School District Board of Trustees in support of the dedication.

Alumni and other members of the community who would like to add their names to the list of supporters should contact RHS teacher Cecil Morris at cmorris@rjuhsd.us.

Supporters should also send a message to the board members asking them to support the naming of the library in honor of Mrs. Estridge. Their addresses are:

* Jack Duran, jduran@rjuhsd.us
* R. Jan Pinney, rpinney@rjuhsd.us
* Garry Genzlinger, ggenzlinger@rjuhsd.us
* Paige Stauss, pstauss@rjuhsd.us
* Scott Huber, shuber@rjuhsd.us

We don’t know if there is any opposition to this petition, thought we do know that the current district policy doesn’t promote memorial dedications of district buildings. But we are hoping to provide a unified front with which to persuade them to see that our librarian, Julie Estridge, is the most qualified to have this honor bestowed in her memory.

The school board will vote on the library dedication proposal at its meeting on April 21. The list of supporters' names, as well as letters and other supporting documentation, must be submitted to the district before April 10.

If you would like to read more about Julie Estridge, her obituary can be found on The Sacramento Bee's web page http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/sacbee/obituary.aspx?page=lifestory&pid=107440553

There is also a Facebook Group for supports of this proposal http://www.facebook.com/reqs.php#/group.php?gid=61821536611

Half truths for shock factor

2009-02-07T03:22:28Z

I will be very honest, I rarely watch TV News; mainly because it's depressing, yet another reason I’m so glad I found the Sacramento Press. This forum is a balanced view of current situations in our community and we have the ability to follow the story or ask questions to get more insight.

Yesterday, my mother called telling me to watch KCRA at 6 o’clock, because there was suppose to be a piece on how to get a job in this failing economy. The only job-related piece was about the Laid-Off Journalist Blog, side note: his witty satires are worth checking out. www.kcra.com/workwanted/index.html.

I continued revising my resume, only half listening as the anchors filled the room with background noise. I stopped abruptly, grabbed the remote to rewind the DVR (What did we do before digital TV!?) I replayed the piece and turned it up just be sure I wasn't hallucinating. The news anchor’s story reported that Carlos Ortiz, the ex-husband of Alice Ortiz, who was one of nine victims in December’s Christmas Eve murder rampage in Covina, CA received a letter claiming that he was responsible for the unpaid rent of Mrs. Ortiz because she gave “insufficient notice to vacate”(www.kcra.com/news/18653167/detail.html).

It was left like that – just hanging in the air….BAM! Then right along to the next story. I was beside myself thinking who are these callous human beings to think a victim can give notice?

This morning I was still a bit flustered by this and searched for more information on the KCRA site. I was floored to see that not only was the televised piece a half truth, it really wasn’t even newsworthy. According to the story on KCRA’s website, the Associated Press reported that, the company managing the apartment building had no idea of the tenant’s death and as soon as the surviving family members explained the situation the issue was dropped. They would not pursue reimbursement. There is no news story here.

The company was following procedures - no notice, no rent, start tracking down people to get answers. As difficult as it is to lose someone (this particular circumstance even more tragic) once the shock and horror subsided; someone should have contacted the apartment complex. It isn’t the landlord’s responsibility to watch the news for updates on possible tenants. That falls onto the family.

Now this has me really thinking, what was the point of getting the audience emotionally invested in this? Not everyone is going to care. Not everyone will get riled up; there was no way for us to rally together to defend Mr. Ortiz. Not everyone is going to investigate for more information like I did. The average person is going to pass this information on as water cooler gossip and basically not have the whole picture. It was a fluff piece with no real value. I consider this shock factor news ridiculous and it belongs only in tabloid television, not a newscast.

What happened to the fact finding missions for journalists? The stories are written then handed or put on the teleprompt for the anchors to read. The anguish in news caster’s voice and in her eyes was sincere, so I find it difficult that she would willingly report a half truth. The news writer should have to finish the story and apologize.

On a positive note, my instinct to investigative was brought into the light; which will allow me to write more articles.