Pretension on the Rise in Sacramento Coffee Shops

2009-07-07T00:18:15Z

"Pretension" has become a common term used to define most Sacramento coffee shops. Visitors have said they feel like an outsider in most joints they enter. It is as though the moment they enter, the looks of the regulars remind them they are obvious newcomers.

Yelp has several reviews of some of my favorite stops in Sacramento, which exemplify this attitude. There is a frustration with the "hipper-than-thou" baristas and the "fake small talk" of the regulars. There is a perception that these places are "grungy, like their patrons."

When most are indignant about the regulars, I am asking how I might become one. Though I am not looking to cut my jeans into shorts and take the brakes off the bicycle I do not ride, I still want to be a "regular".

Face it, you are not intended to belong to the 'regular' group because you are not...a...regular. The regulars are the ones who give a place its character. You may not one of these people, but every one of them was once a newcomer. They were once invariably blogging about how pretentious the coffee shop or bar they now love once was.

This group really appears more closed and bombastic it really is, and your capacity to become a regular is much larger than you may realize.

The very attitude of the regulars, which aggravates you is simultaneously the very magic of their appeal. Ray Oldenburg wrote in his book, The Great Good Place, "Joy and acceptance reign over anxiety and alienation. This is the magical element that warms the insider and reminds the outsider that he or she is not part of the magic circle."

The reason we are aggravated with the regulars is because we are faced with the reality that we are not regulars.

So come on back a few times. Slowly introduce yourself. Perhaps begin with the only true regulars; the baristas, bartenders, or workers.

Rather than blaming the pretentious regulars; why not become a pretentious regular?

Talk to Strangers

2009-05-22T17:37:17Z

I see you all the time at Tupelo Coffee House, but you don’t know me. We both like it that way. Neither of us will exchange a word, but I have created your brief back-story for my own entertainment. It is fiction, but this is the nature of our relationship. I have 900 Facebook friends, and I frequent all the same spots, but I do not know anyone.

We work here, meet here, and play here. When home is where the couch is, we spend most of our waking hours out and about; returning home only to crash for the night. Time is calculated in semesters, leases, and rental agreements instead of years or friendships.

Neighbors have come to represent mysteries rather than faces or lives. Forgotten are the times of a quick chat on the lawn or a longer conversation on the porch. We no longer live in neighborhoods; we exist in networks.

Once I became a ‘regular’, I began recognizing other regulars. This is where I first recognized you. When I saw you at Second Saturday, I wanted to walk up excitedly and ask what you were doing there. I wanted to catch up. Then I faced the disappointment in knowing…

I don’t know you.

People are more and more ‘connected’ while becoming more and more lonely. When the neighborhood is quickly forgotten, my goal is to engage in my networks. If we are always here, there is no reason we should not know each other.

What if there we were no strangers?

Introduce yourself to someone you see all the time but still have not met. If you see me at Tupelo or my bar, restaurant, or club, you may soon be startled by my endeavor to meet you.

What if you and I started a revolution where people were less lonely?

Don’t be a stranger!

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Pretension on the Rise in Sacramento Coffee Shops

Talk to Strangers