Good Work NOW!: "Toxic Co-workers"

2009-06-30T00:10:59Z

According to the April 2009 edition of the Harvard Business Review, toxic behavior in the workplace significantly decreases work effort, quality, morale and commitment. We are seeing more toxic behavior at work as a result of more negative emotions associated with the recession. So, it's important we take some time to look at this issue.

Joining me on the next episode of “Good Work NOW!” is leadership consultant Steve Sphar. Steve and I discuss toxic behavior – what it is and why it’s important to address, explore some interesting insights about perception and demonstrate a four step process that anyone can use to make a positive difference.

Steve defines toxic behavior as “a type of behavior that causes strong negative emotions in others”. He adds that there is a continuum - sometimes we perceive others’ behavior as simply annoying; it becomes “toxic” when it generates strong negative emotions in us, such as fear and anger. Typical examples of toxic behavior include bullying, gossiping, taking credit for others’ work, and victimhood (chronic complaining, whining and persistent negativity).

He emphasizes that perception plays a critical role: “If we define toxic behavior as something that generates negative emotions … emotion is a factor of interpretation”. For example, let’s say a co-worker slams a book on a table during a staff meeting. One colleague could perceive that behavior as enthusiasm, another could perceive the same behavior as aggressive.

Steve shares four steps for assertively communicating with co-workers that you perceive to be exhibiting toxic behavior:

Step 1: State Your Intention. Tell the co-worker that you would like to talk with them: “Joe, can I have a few minutes of your time to talk with you about something that I’m concerned about?”

Step 2: State Objective Facts. Describe the behavior in terms that Joe is likely to agree with: “This morning at the staff meeting when you slammed the book on the table …”

Step 3: State the Impact on You. Describe how you felt when you observed the behavior: “…it made me feel uncomfortable”.

Step 4: State Your Request. Ask for something different in the future. “I would like to ask that in the future you not slam your book on the table.”

Steve adds that we cannot control other people. But, we can control how we act. He adds: “A lot of the time the person doing the [toxic] behavior doesn’t know they’re doing it and when you call them on it, they’ll stop. Sometimes people just don’t know; they don’t get the feedback”. By being assertive, individuals can neutralize toxic cycles in the workplace. If we ignore it or mirror it back, we may be contributing to the toxic cycle and becoming a toxic co-worker ourselves.

You can watch Steve conduct a perception test and the two of us role play his four steps on Sunday, July 5, 7:30 – 8:00 PM on Access Sacramento Channel 17. An abbreviated, 10 minute archived episode is available for free at www.goodworknow.com.

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Background / Disclosure:

Good Work NOW! is a weekly, non-commercial public access television show produced at Access Sacramento and is a volunteer effort by Brian Moffitt, my guests and crew (Daniel Lorenzo, Jemuel Johnson, Molly Lynch, Marge McCreary, and Scott Trend). This 30 minute talk show features local experts and our mission is to help viewers find a job, develop their career or business or improve morale or productivity. It airs every Sunday evening at 7:30 – 8:00 PM on Channel 17 and streams at www.AccessSacramento.org, with an encore streaming every Monday, 11:30 – 12:00 noon. The purpose of this weekly column is to share key points and tips from each week’s episode and invite readers to watch the program if they want more details. If you have any questions or comments or have a story or expertise that will help others find or create good work, please contact me at brianmoffitt@comcast.net or visit our website at www.goodworknow.com.

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Good Work NOW!: "Toxic Co-workers"