I'm listening to "Strictly Game" by The Harlem Shakes as I drive to a Wells Fargo ATM a few blocks from my apartment to get forty bucks for more weed at 8:30pm on a Saturday that doubles as my birthday. The lyrics are appropriate (This will be a better year…) and I sing along with hope that the chorus applies to me, too. I'm still thinking about the voicemail from my father that assumed I didn't pick up the phone because I was out partying. He sounds drunk. Is it bad that I don't want to call him back because I'm embarrassed that I'm not out partying? But should I be? I'm high enough already and worried that the headlights in my rearview mirror belong to a cop, so I make a full stop, count

What is the best dining experience you’ve ever had? A few years ago I ate at a joint in San Francisco called Asia De Cuba. This fusion restaurant had spectacular ambiance and the feel of a hip club with its dim lights, pulsating beats, trendy décor, and exotic menu. Our group enjoyed four hours of eating and sitting together and we were never rushed to leave. The bill was substantial, but the unique experience was worth the high cost. When guests leave my house after dinner, I want them to feel something similar. It would be great if they complimented the lavish food, stylish decorating, and festive atmosphere. That would be nice. I have a feeling though they’d more realistically say they

It’s nearly impossible to win with only one great player. Even megastar athletes like LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, and Tom Brady have all needed good players around them to succeed. The same is true in our neighborhoods. Experiencing a more vibrant community requires a sense of teamwork that bonds residents together and goes beyond unrelated efforts by a few individuals. Finding like-minded people who want to help your neighborhood become more connected is the key in getting things started. How do you begin to piece together a team for the neighborhood? There is no exact science toward discovering the right people, but below are some principles to begin with. Pick and choose what will work

Fred had a big problem. He and his next door neighbor were in the habit of heated arguments, squirting each other with the water hose, and even on the verge of fist fights. These two men despised each other. Fred was in the thick of a worst-case scenario situation where moving to another neighborhood seemed inevitable. He clearly had some issues to work on, but the real question I wonder about was what his three daughters were learning from their Dad as they watched his belligerence toward the man next door. What type of neighbor do you want your children to be one day? What are your hopes for them when they plant their roots in a community? It’s easy to think of our children’s success i

I recently attended a funeral of a local man. He raised four kids, stayed married for fifty years, knew success in his career, and had many remarkable traits. His eulogy was full of all the great stuff we often hear, but there was something more mentioned that was a very high compliment: he was a good neighbor. Story after story was shared about how he was known to say hi to others, pay attention to people around him, find ways to care for folks next door, talk to passersby, befriend local teenagers, and even share his roses and vegetables with neighbors. The notion of being a contributor to the health of a community is seldom on the radar in today’s society. Somewhere along the way we lo

Not long ago on a Friday I drove home after a long and tiring week of work and found my neighbor Queen bringing in my trashcans. While getting out of my truck Queen grinned sheepishly and told me I was not supposed to catch her in the act. This was a small deed of kindness on her part, but I gave her a big hug and thanked her for making my day. In essence what made this act so meaningful was that my neighbor stepped outside of the confines of her parcel lines into a “front yard dynamic” where we could connect over something so simple. Had she not dragged in my trashcans, I would have just done it myself. But since she took the initiative to do something thoughtful for my family, an opport

One of the constant themes that Home Depot commercials hit on is the idea of building the ultimate backyard. Have you seen these ones? A family turns their typical rear plot of land into a haven full of Trex decking, bright flowers and fresh sod, with a gleaming stainless steel grill to bring it all together. The concept is to create a space to relax—a refuge from the rest of the world and a post-5pm retreat after a tiring day. I’ll admit that these ads strike me in two ways. One, I want that backyard. But Two, on a deeper level I wonder if there is something here for us to consider. Has our society become used to a world where we spend the bulk of our time confined to our parcel lines wh