Newest articles on The Sacramento Press tagged as "community building 101"

The Art of Hospitality

2009-02-16T16:24:59Z

What is the best dining experience you’ve ever had? A few years ago I ate at a joint in San Francisco called Asia De Cuba. This fusion restaurant had spectacular ambiance and the feel of a hip club with its dim lights, pulsating beats, trendy décor, and exotic menu. Our group enjoyed four hours of eating and sitting together and we were never rushed to leave. The bill was substantial, but the unique experience was worth the high cost.

When guests leave my house after dinner, I want them to feel something similar. It would be great if they complimented the lavish food, stylish decorating, and festive atmosphere. That would be nice. I have a feeling though they’d more realistically say they’d eaten good non-gourmet food and felt mostly comfortable even though there were energized toddlers running around. Dining at the Lundquist home is not anything like an upscale restaurant, but that’s a good thing because practicing hospitality does not necessitate a gourmet experience.

There is something significant about welcoming others into our homes. When we ask people over we are giving them much more than a meal – we are inviting them into our lives. In an age of birthday card emails, drive-thru dinners, and brief cell phone interactions, it’s refreshing to sit down together for an unrushed hour or two and really get to know others. Sometimes though we think that being hospitable means we have to prepare the most scintillating dishes and spend all day cleaning the house. But it’s okay if the walls are not acid-washed, if toys are visible, and if there’s a stack of bills on the countertop. True hospitality is not about offering our guests perfection, but relationship. Sure, it’s nice to clean the house and spice up dinner a bit, but let’s remember that our guests are not customers to please but rather participants in a family meal. One of the most respectful things we can do is invite people into the life we really live. Besides, if we put so much effort into a meal we might exhaust ourselves and also cause our guests to feel intimidated about inviting us to their house.

Life is busy, so where do you find the time to eat a meal with others? Thankfully dinner is something that most of us do every night, so it’s just a matter of coordinating our schedules. If my household is eating dinner anyway and yours is too, it doesn’t seem all that overwhelming to combine efforts to dine together – especially on a weekend night. It always helps too to ask guests to bring a side dish or assist with preparation somehow.

The practice of hospitality is about sharing meals, but is more broadly about sharing our lives with people. This might seem like an odd topic to end a community building series, but by taking the initiative to invite other residents into our daily routines we can profoundly impact our neighborhoods. When we get intentional about helping our tracts become more connected like they used to be, we will begin to taste something wonderful – a sense of community.

Are you open to the challenge?

Bringing in the Reinforcements

2009-02-15T15:33:40Z

“I’ll have my people call your people.” Have you ever known someone who could get anything done because he had all the right contacts? The wheelers and dealers of the business world know all about this. They build networks of people to get results and solve problems. They are good at what they do for their companies, but the art of networking is not something exclusive to commerce – it is useful for neighborhoods too. Finding allies for our tracts who will help foster community and reinforce the change we are working toward is critical for success.

Thankfully there are a plethora of potential partners for neighborhood growth and it’s just a matter of tapping into relationship with some of these people. Below is a list of suggested groups to begin networking with. Remember that the best relationships are authentic and mutual.

The City: First off, make sure that the city knows what you are attempting so that they can support you with resources and ideas (or maybe even funds). Go ahead and introduce yourself by phone and email to certain departments – start with Neighborhood Services and Housing. It’s okay to ask the city for help, rely upon their expertise, and let them know what your subdivision needs. Keep the city up to date with your efforts and especially success stories – maybe a first BBQ, the beginning of a neighborhood blog, or a community painting project. Hearing of your accomplishments may encourage and fuel city workers to work harder for neighborhoods – and maybe even your area. Remember that many people try to get results by complaining, and there is a place for that, but a positive attitude, listening, persistence and saying thank you sometimes gets the job done more quickly.

City Council: Invite Council Members to BBQs, neighborhood walks, or whatever you are planning, and ask them for advice and ideas on community building.

Neighborhood Watch: This organization began as a national campaign in 1972 and is a strategy to bring residents and police together to “take a bite out of crime.” See www.usaonwatch.org

Police Department: Find out who your neighborhood patrol officers are and invite them to events and to talk with residents about crime prevention. Let them know right away by phone or email when there are problems in your area.

Neighborhood Associations: Contact local neighborhood associations who have experienced success. Ask for advice and learn from their victories and challenges.

Local Nonprofits: Which local nonprofits in your area are relevant for residents? Ask around about organizations, grants, churches, and groups that could assist your efforts.

Business: Ask local businesses to sponsor an event. They will gain publicity and you won’t have to pay out of pocket.

Local Media: Let the local newspaper know about your efforts and events. Maybe they could write a story or at least publicize your gatherings in the community calendar section.

Maybe your rolodex is much thinner than some of the savvy entrepreneurs in town, but building a network of people over time who are experienced in community building will profoundly affect your neighborhood. You will be able to connect residents to resources and help bring some of the change needed in your tract. This makes you even more valuable to your community.

Which of the above suggested resources resonate with you? Why?

Part VIII The Art of Hospitality

Finding Like-Minded People

2009-02-14T14:47:30Z

It’s nearly impossible to win with only one great player. Even megastar athletes like LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, and Tom Brady have all needed good players around them to succeed. The same is true in our neighborhoods. Experiencing a more vibrant community requires a sense of teamwork that bonds residents together and goes beyond unrelated efforts by a few individuals. Finding like-minded people who want to help your neighborhood become more connected is the key in getting things started.

How do you begin to piece together a team for the neighborhood? There is no exact science toward discovering the right people, but below are some principles to begin with. Pick and choose what will work best for your situation and don’t feel you have to do everything at once.

1. Take your time: Change won’t happen quickly and it takes time to connect with people and build trust, so pace yourself as you meet residents.
2. Ask Questions: The best way to find out what people think the neighborhood needs is to ask questions and then really listen to what people are saying.
3. Pay Attention: In your conversations with residents, who is talking about wanting to see change in the neighborhood? These are like-minded people to join forces with.
4. Tell Your Story: Share with residents your desires for the neighborhood. This can be at a formal event, but mostly occurs in the course of every day conversation.
5. Do Something: People are attracted to a sense of direction and positive vision rather than complaining. Decide to do something and make it easy for others to join in.
6. Start Small: Rather than taking on every issue that needs attention in your neighborhood or doing a huge project, think about practical goals that are doable. Build in success by meeting smaller goals and then take on larger projects as more people come along.
7. The Word on Flyers: If you pass out flyers, keep in mind that people generally don’t respond to flyers on their doorstep without personal interaction. If possible, it’s best to knock on doors and introduce yourself while handing out flyers.
8. Start with a BBQ: Do a potluck-style BBQ for your street. Make a flyer, find someone to plan it with you, and delegate details to other interested residents. While at the event, have a sign-up for a phone tree, email list, or a future community gathering.
9. Be a Chief: Many people don’t want to be a chief, so step up and be the leader for a time and then watch the domino effect as others begin to find ways to lead in the neighborhood. People are more likely to join when they realize that they are not being asked to commit their lives away or be the point person.
10. Volunteers Come and Go: Life gets busy and people come and go. Thank people for their time and don’t expect that volunteers should or want to give as much as you do. Remember too that not everyone wants to be involved.
11. Keep People’s Best Interest in Mind: Encourage people to do things that they want to do in the neighborhood. When people do things they are comfortable with or passionate about, there is a better chance of success because they feel respected and empowered.
12. Find a Simple Communication System: Consider starting a blog, newsletter, e-Group, e-mail list, phone tree, or some sort of forum where residents can begin talking more regularly. Whatever you do, first get a few people on board to launch it and then invite others to join. Be creative and do what is going to work for your neighborhood.

Our society is aching for community leaders who will find ways to bring their neighbors together. These people do not need to be experts either, but only willing to set the pace. There are likely quite a few residents around you already who are hungry to see your neighborhood come together. Many times though people are simply waiting for someone to get the ball rolling, someone to be a leading voice for your street or tract – someone like you.

What does a community leader look like? Go to the mirror.

Part VII Bringing in the Reinforcements

The Starting Line

2009-02-12T14:52:32Z

Improving a neighborhood can feel like trying to resurrect the Titanic, but in reality it’s more like flipping a burger with a family next door. When our prime focus is only on the problems in a community, it can start to feel discouraging and we give up, thinking “I don’t have the time or energy,” or “I can’t do this by myself”, or “I don’t even know where to begin.” I’d like to suggest though that the beginning point for strengthening a neighborhood is really about small every day choices rather than planning big events or programs.

Strengthening a community simply recognizes that relationships rather than high fences are what is most important. The truth is you do not need ample time, money, grey hair, or incredible leadership skills to make a difference in your tract. You only need to be attentive to your surroundings and intentional in some very practical ways. This is about a mindset, a lifestyle, a paradigm to live from.

Connecting with neighbors can be something very natural and it happens over time. It is not something that you have to plan for per se or worry about adding to your busy schedule. Below are some practical tips to connect (or re-connect) with neighbors:

• Sit out in your front yard or on your porch
• Wave to passersby and say “hello” to people
• Introduce yourself to new residents
• Find a resident to exercise with
• Volunteer to collect mail while your neighbor is gone
• Borrow a tool or ask for advice
• Keep your yard well kept
• Invite a few neighbors to holiday parties or have someone over for dinner
• BBQ in your front yard with one other household
• Say sorry when you need to
• Do an Easter egg hunt for your street
• Take regular walks
• Exchange phone numbers with neighbors in case of an emergency
• Talk to another resident about your desire to see neighbors connect

Most of life in a neighborhood consists of non-glamorous regular moments, but these small instances present opportunity for connection and are the building blocks for the future. Mother Teresa once said, “We can do no great things, only small things with great love.” Now go and do small things.

What tips do you have to connect with neighbors?

Part IV: Re-Believing in Community Participation

Momma, what happened to the neighborhood?

2009-02-10T23:40:36Z

One of the constant themes that Home Depot commercials hit on is the idea of building the ultimate backyard. Have you seen these ones? A family turns their typical rear plot of land into a haven full of Trex decking, bright flowers and fresh sod, with a gleaming stainless steel grill to bring it all together. The concept is to create a space to relax—a refuge from the rest of the world and a post-5pm retreat after a tiring day.

I’ll admit that these ads strike me in two ways. One, I want that backyard. But Two, on a deeper level I wonder if there is something here for us to consider. Has our society become used to a world where we spend the bulk of our time confined to our parcel lines while having little meaningful interaction with our neighbors?

There used to be a day and time in our society where kids played outside more often, where families knew and relied upon households next door, and where it was a norm to feel a sense of connectedness amongst neighbors. In thinking back to when you were a kid, did life in your neighborhood seem a bit more interactive and relational than your experience today? Did people trust each other more readily? Did passersby wave? Did you play outside without worrying about Megan’s Law registrants?

Let’s face it, after the commute home from work it’s easy to find ourselves so tired and busy that the concept of getting to know our neighbors seems unrealistic, impractical or even inconvenient. So we get home from work, shut the garage door quickly to avoid others, stay behind our fences, and then turn on one of our screens to zone out. Sure, privacy is essential to a healthy lifestyle, but if life’s standard posture is to have very limited interaction with neighbors, then our communities will suffer.

What happened to our neighborhoods?

Part II: Finding Treasure in the Front Yard