"I'm a 30-year-old man applying for a job as an elf," said the man in the gray hooded sweatshirt, looking less than thrilled about his new position.

It was Gary Alan Wright, telling the story of his elf alter ego, Crumpet, and the mischief he got into during his time in Santaland, the mall's winter wonderland. The stage looked the part, with a beautiful Christmas tree, toys and Santa's throne. The lone cast member of "Santaland Diaries" kept the people at the Capital Stage aboard the Riverboat Delta King laughing out loud at the play by humorist David Sedaris.

Wright transformed into Crumpet on stage, stripping down to his green knickers and candy-cane stockings. He accomplished this while explaining his elf training, complete with motivational cheers.

"Give me an "S! Where's my "A? How 'bout a big ol' "N? Did someone say "T?" Let's get a recall on that "A!" What's that spell? Santa! Who's the man? Santa! Come on elves, feel good about yourselves, let's raise the roof! Santa, Santa, Santa!"

The laughing audience obliged, yelling the chants and clapping.

Wright used the entire theater, walking up and down the aisles, squeezing into the rows of people and interacting with them as he passed. Wright told details of Santaland and its secrets, including tales of mothers who instructed their children to urinate in the fake snow in order to stay in line.

He detailed the craziness of Christmas Eve with an enthusiastic air guitar solo of "We Will Rock You" and a bad rendition of "Away in the Manger" that he said was requested by a persistent Santa of whom he wasn't fond.

"This is our naughty Christmas show," said Peter Mohrmann, marketing manager for Capital Stage. "Although we do have more family friendly shows like It's a Wonderful Life."

"Santaland Diaries" runs through Dec. 27 at Capital Stage, Riverboat Delta King, 1000 Front St. For more information visit the Capital Stage website.