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Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Sacramento New Year Predictions
by Greg Brown, published on January 2, 2009 at 10:00 AM
Storyline: sacramento New Year's predictions
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* The City of Sacramento will start using “The Claw” to deal with the homeless problem.
* Former Mayoral candidate Murial Strand will grow a handlebar mustache and tour the country with it.
* A shocking new sex tape will surface on the internet involving former Mayor Heather Fargo, Rob Fong, and bounty hunter Leonard Padilla.
* The Pennysaver will overtake the Bee and become Sacramento’s most read publication.
* Zelda’s waitresses will be replaced by Hooters waitresses and vice versa.
* Jack’s Urban Eats will be purchased by a group of Muslim Restauranteurs and be renamed Jack’s Turban Eats.
* The Downtown Ice Arena on K street will begin using frozen bum urine.
* There will be a rash of new "Sushi by the Slice" restaurants in midtown.
* The Sacramento Kings will finally trade one of the Maloof brothers.
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