"Pretension" has become a common term used to define most Sacramento coffee shops. Visitors have said they feel like an outsider in most joints they enter. It is as though the moment they enter, the looks of the regulars remind them they are obvious newcomers.

Yelp has several reviews of some of my favorite stops in Sacramento, which exemplify this attitude. There is a frustration with the "hipper-than-thou" baristas and the "fake small talk" of the regulars. There is a perception that these places are "grungy, like their patrons."

When most are indignant about the regulars, I am asking how I might become one. Though I am not looking to cut my jeans into shorts and take the brakes off the bicycle I do not ride, I still want to be a "regular".

Face it, you are not intended to belong to the 'regular' group because you are not...a...regular. The regulars are the ones who give a place its character. You may not one of these people, but every one of them was once a newcomer. They were once invariably blogging about how pretentious the coffee shop or bar they now love once was.

This group really appears more closed and bombastic it really is, and your capacity to become a regular is much larger than you may realize.

The very attitude of the regulars, which aggravates you is simultaneously the very magic of their appeal. Ray Oldenburg wrote in his book, The Great Good Place, "Joy and acceptance reign over anxiety and alienation. This is the magical element that warms the insider and reminds the outsider that he or she is not part of the magic circle."

The reason we are aggravated with the regulars is because we are faced with the reality that we are not regulars.

So come on back a few times. Slowly introduce yourself. Perhaps begin with the only true regulars; the baristas, bartenders, or workers.

Rather than blaming the pretentious regulars; why not become a pretentious regular?